A Father's Love
by ChoCedric
Summary: Disregards HBP and DH. A story of the special bond between Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. Albus never had any children of his own, but he loved Severus like a son. To send him to Voldemort was torture on his heart and mind.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: I wrote this several years ago and had it up before, but looking back over it, I found there were some things I needed to change. So I am posting it again with the corrections. This was a very emotional piece for me to write. Please let me know what you think of it!

A Father's Love

By: ChoCedric

Albus Dumbledore sat in his office, surrounded by his instruments. He was nursing a cup of tea, and popping lemon drops into his mouth. You would think that a man of such high esteem would be doing something else, but this old man was eccentric and unique.

However, he did have something on his mind, and that something was a man named Severus Snape. Over the course of many years, the man had become like a son to Dumbledore. The Headmaster had no children of his own, and he had always wanted to share a father's love with a child. When he'd let Severus into his heart, he'd promised he'd do all he could for him. The man was so damaged; he'd lived in an abusive home, been bullied nonstop at school, and always felt like he had to impress other Slytherins like Lucius Malfoy, who was older than him. Severus always said as a young boy that Dumbledore always favored the Gryffindors and never punished them for their wrongdoings, and as much as Dumbledore tried to deny it, in his heart he knew the child was right. He should listen to his Slytherins more often, and remember that just because Tom Riddle came from that house, it did not mean that all Slytherins were evil.

Dumbledore had then understood why Severus had turned to Voldemort, or as he always remembered him, Tom. Severus had always longed for that sense of belonging, a way to fit into a group. Besides the kindness of a young girl named Lily Evans, no one besides some of the Slytherins paid any attention to him. Severus had been sucked in to the Death Eaters, and hadn't realized the wrongness of his actions until it was too late.

Albus would never forget the day, a few years after Severus had graduated Hogwarts, that he had come into Albus's office pale and shaking, admitting that he'd made a terrible mistake. He'd then confessed to being a Death Eater. He'd then looked into Albus's eyes and expected to see hatred and anger there, but instead saw nothing but forgiveness. When Dumbledore had said he would do all he could to help him fix this mistake, the young man had stuttered, "BB-but I thought you h-hated Death Eaters."

Albus had then explained that he did not hate Death Eaters themselves; he hated the things they did, yes, but he never hated the actual people. He said that anyone could turn their life around, and he was willing to help Severus do that. Severus then actually broke down and cried, confessing all that he had done. Albus embraced him and promised him that they would fix it together.

Severus had then told Albus that he had been studying Occlumency for the last few years, and he wanted to do everything possible to atone for his sins. He suggested to Dumbledore that he wanted to be a spy for him, to let him know inside information on Voldemort's doings. Contrary to popular belief, Dumbledore was reluctant at first. How could he let this young man, barely out of school, partake in something so dangerous? He insisted that he could protect him from Voldemort, he could hide him, but Severus insisted. Finally, Dumbledore agreed, and Severus's spying for the Order of the Phoenix began.

Severus could be a bitter, sarcastic man, and he showed this a lot to his students. Dumbledore had gently tried to reprimand him on his teaching methods, but the man did not budge. Life was harsh and cruel, he told the Headmaster, and the students had to learn this sooner or later. Dumbledore knew there was only so much he could do to try to convince Severus, so he just had to leave things as they were and hoped that someday, the man would see things differently, like the fact that Harry was not his father, and people like Neville Longbottom could get better at Potions. Severus was always saying that Dumbledore was too gentle towards his students, but that was just the way the old man was.

People could see that Dumbledore really cared for Severus. He'd been so alone for so much of his life, and Dumbledore would do anything to take that loneliness away. Severus never showed it outwardly, but sometimes Dumbledore could see the struggle for acceptance that he went through. To have someone show him unconditional love like Dumbledore did was not something that he was used to. Sometimes he spoke harshly to the old man, but Albus never lost patience with him. He just tried to show Severus that he was accepted just as he was.

The Headmaster had truly felt terrible when he'd had to ask his Potions Master to start spying again for the Order at the end of Harry Potter's fourth year, when Voldemort returned. But Severus was so loyal to the cause that he immediately agreed, and took up the job again. Some people asked Albus whether he was worried about Severus giving in to temptation and going back to his old Death Eater ways again, but he was not worried about it. The young man had been broken by the things he had done in Voldemort's service, and was truly sincere, even though he really didn't like the Potter boy. He would rather see the Dark Lord go down than hurt the son of the man he'd hated. Albus trusted Severus implicitly.

Still thinking about the Slytherin, he continued to drink his tea when there was a knock on his door. "Come in," he said, and the said Slytherin walked into the room, holding his left forearm. He looked to be in a lot of pain.

"Oh, Severus," Dumbledore said. "He has summoned you again?"

"Yes, Headmaster," Snape said, formal as always. He never called him "Albus," it was always "Headmaster."

"He is very angry tonight," Severus continued. "The Dark Mark burns more than usual."

At this, Dumbledore looked worried. He was always scared for Severus when he went out on one of these spying missions. Every time this happened, he tried to convince Severus to let him protect him, to not do this anymore, but Severus always refused. Truth was, Dumbledore really did need a spy to get inside information, but he hated using his child this way. But despite Severus's continued stubbornness, this did not stop Albus from trying yet again this time.

"He is angry?" he asked. "Perhaps you should not go tonight, Severus. I have told you before, I can protect you. You do not have to do this. You know I appreciate all that you have done for us, but-"

"Stop it, Headmaster!" Severus's face immediately grew angry. "Stop your nobility, trying to protect me. I am doing my job. This is war, old man. War. You cannot protect everyone. I can take whatever the Dark Lord dishes out. You know I have many potions in stock for help with the Cruciatus Curse."

"I know that, Severus," Albus said gently. "But I don't want him finding out about you. There are ears around every corner, child, and I don't want to lose you."

"Quit with your affections for me, old fool, I am doing this whether you like it or not," Snape snarled. With that, he stormed out of the office.

Albus was not offended at all. Severus had grown up in such a harsh environment that any kind of affectionate words were foreign to him. That, the old man believed, was why he'd lashed out at Lily Evans and referred to her as a "filthy little mudblood" back in their school days. He didn't know how else to react, it was an instinctive thing. Everything in his body screamed at him to reject affection and love, and only accept words of cruelty and cynicism.

But Albus was very worried. He knew Severus might have to deal with a lot if Voldemort was angry about something. He always seemed to take it out on his Death Eaters. Dark activity was much more rampant now; it was now Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts and since the Minister of Magic finally admitted that Voldemort had returned, the war was now out in the open.

After a few minutes, Albus decided to go and visit Madame Poppy Pomfrey in the hospital wing, to warn her that he might need her tonight if Severus came back injured. Thankfully, he had never come back in danger of dying, but sometimes he did need to be patched up a bit after what Voldemort had done to him. Unfortunately, when he arrived, Poppy seemed to be in a bad mood. She was walking up and down the wing, grumbling about students making trouble and being out of bed when they were too injured to do so.

"Ah, Poppy, the students are causing trouble again?" Albus teased as he walked in. He and Poppy Pomfrey had been good friends for years, and their friendship had grown stronger while working together.

"Oh, Albus, I simply don't know what to do!" the exasperated mediwitch replied. "I try to help them, and they think they know what's best. They're always asking when they can leave when they know they're not well enough yet."

"Oh, leave them be, Poppy. They are just children," Albus said. "Anyway, do you have a moment?"

"Yes, sure," Poppy said. "What do you need?"

"I may need you later. Severus was summoned tonight."

But this news seemed to make Poppy flare up even more. "Oh," she said, frowning deeply. "Yes. You sent him off to that monster again, didn't you? You constantly use him for this war, Albus! Can't you see the danger you're putting him in? Don't you know what that madman could do to him any of these times?"

Deep sadness crossed Albus's face at these words. "Poppy, you should know me better than that," he said quietly. "I love Severus like he's my own son. I would never send him off into danger purposely. But he is stubborn, and he refuses to see reason. He is a grown man, Poppy; I must let him go."

Poppy just harrumphed and walked away from Albus, into her office. He then left the infirmary, feeling hurt. How could Poppy think that of him?

Albus tried to pass the time when he got back to his office by reading his book, but he just could not concentrate. He'd had a very bad feeling about sending Severus off tonight; something was niggling at him, telling him that something awful was happening to his child in Tom's clutches. Don't worry so much, you're just being paranoid, he thought to himself, but he just couldn't shake it.

His suspicions were horribly confirmed when all of a sudden, an alarm sounded in his office. The alarm signalled that someone had arrived on Hogwarts grounds in terrible condition. Fear flooded into Albus faster than a spell could fly at him. He swiftly turned the alarm off and ran out of his office, down the hallways, and out the front doors of the school.

And then, he saw him. Lying on the ground, broken and bleeding, was Severus Snape. There was blood absolutely everywhere, and it looked like he was just barely keeping his eyes open. Oh, Merlin, Dumbledore thought. His heart constricted painfully. Oh, no. Tom's found out. I knew this would happen sometime.

Dumbledore ran over to him. He knelt over him and called, "Severus? Severus? Child, can you hear me?"

"A-A-Albus?" Severus said weakly. Albus's heart twisted painfully again; Severus never, never called him Albus.

"Oh, Severus," Dumbledore whispered. "What happened?"

"He-he found out," Severus mumbled. He gasped for breath, and a moan of pain escaped his lips. "Someone ... heard you and me ... talking ... and told him ... I'm so sorry ... I ... failed you ... so sorry ... failed you ..."

Dumbledore could see Severus's heart in his eyes. Usually, the Slytherin was so vigilant about not showing emotion, but now he could see pain and despair in the man's eyes, just like he had seen it on the night he'd bared his soul to him, the night he'd confessed everything. "You could never fail me, my child," Dumbledore said gently, lifting Severus into his arms. The old man did not care one bit about all the blood getting on his clothes. "Listen, I'll get you to the hospital wing. How did you get back here?"

"The Dark Lord ... brought me back ... by portkey ... he knew ... seeing me like this ... would hurt you ..." Severus gasped. Dumbledore then saw a rock lying on the ground, and he knew that had been the Portkey. Severus tried to say more, but Dumbledore quieted him.

"Shhh, Severus. There's no need to say anymore. There, there, it's alright," he soothed as another moan of pain escaped the man's lips. "You've been so brave, Severus. I'm so sorry to put you through all this."

"Not ... your fault ... it was me who ... decided to go ..." Severus managed to get out. "Promise me ... something, Albus ..."

"What is it, child?"

"Keep fighting ... destroy the Dark Lord ... teach Potter ... how to bring him down."

"Don't worry, child. I will," Dumbledore said gently, trying to hide his tears. No, no, no, he thought. Please don't let him be dying. I have to hurry, I have to get him to Poppy. I hope to Merlin she can help him. But despite the lump in his throat, he knew that right now, he needed to be strong. He needed to let Severus know that it was alright, that he could relax now. "I'll take care of things, Severus," he said softly. "Don't worry about anything."

Severus looked panicked, uncertain, but after a few more soothing words, Severus's whole body relaxed and his eyes closed. But before they closed completely, he gave Albus a look that broke his heart. It was a look of complete and absolute trust, a totally open look of affection. Dumbledore had never seen him look at him like that before. It truly showed that despite Severus's harsh words, he did have a soft side, and Albus's affection had shown him that he was accepted.

Albus then ran as fast as he could to the school, trying desperately to save his child's life.

"Oh, Merlin," Poppy Pomfrey said when Albus carried Severus into the infirmary. He laid him gently down on a bed, and Poppy immediately started waving her wand over him, trying to examine his injuries. Both she and Albus's faces were white with worry. Albus prayed to all Merlin that Severus would make it through this.

Poppy did everything she could, trying to get as many potions into him as possible, and cleaned all the blood from his wounds and bandaged them. After her examination was complete, she sighed and looked at Albus.

"How is he, Poppy?" Albus asked.

But the look on Poppy's face was heartbreaking to behold. Albus prepared himself for the worst.

Inside, Poppy felt awful for saying what she'd said to him earlier. How could she not have seen how much this man loved Severus? How could she tell this man what she had to tell him, and not break down herself?

"Albus," she said softly, taking his hand in hers. "It doesn't look good. I've done everything I can for him, but his injuries are severe. He's taken a lot of Cruciatus damage, and he's lost a lot of blood. He's in a coma now. I'm so, so sorry, but it doesn't look like he'll make it through the night, Albus."

Dumbledore's heart sank. "How much time do you say he has, Poppy?"

"Maybe only hours," Poppy admitted. "I'll keep doing all I can for him, but you have to be prepared. Fortunately, since he's unconscious, he's not in any pain. So you don't have to worry about that. Albus, I am so, so sorry for what I said earlier. I know you love Severus like he's your own. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so, so sorry."

"Thank you, Poppy," Albus whispered. "Do not worry about it, I accept your apology. Thank you for trying to help him. he's been through a lot tonight. Promise me something, though, will you?"

"Anything," Poppy said.

"Please, don't make me leave his side," Albus said. "This man has spent almost all his life lonely. If he's going to pass, I don't want him to go through it alone. I want to be here with him, to the end."

Tears filled Poppy's eyes as she looked at Albus. "Okay," she said. "I promise."

The night wore on. Remus Lupin, who had been readmitted to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post that year, saw that Albus was not in his office and assumed he was in the hospital wing talking to Poppy about something. He was therefore shocked and horrified to learn of the events that had happened. He came and sat by Albus's side, along with Minerva McGonnagall. Fawkes, Albus's phoenix, also came and sat by him in his time of need. He crooned softly, his music comforting. Minerva and Remus had had their differences with Severus, but they'd never, ever wanted to see anything happen to him, and they couldn't even imagine the guilt and pain their mentor must be going through.

Unfortunately, as the night dragged on, the condition of the Potions Master worsened. Despite Poppy's efforts, there seemed to be simply nothing she could do for him. Finally, at about one twenty-five in the morning, she gently laid a hand on Albus's shoulder and gave him a look that told him all he needed to know. "Albus," she said gently, "there's not much time."

"I know, Poppy. I know." Albus said in a heartbroken voice.

Seeming to know what Albus needed at that moment, Poppy quietly helped him lift the Potions Master into his arms. The old man held him gently, stroking his hands, soothing him, comforting him in his final minutes. The man was gasping for breath and was so, so pale.

"I'm so sorry, Severus," Albus whispered, unable to help the tears that were falling down his face. "I would have done anything to spare you from this. I am so, so sorry, my child. You didn't deserve for it to end like this. But thank you so much for everything you've done for the Order, everything you've done for us. I'll do everything possible to make sure your last wish is fulfilled, Severus. I promise."

Albus held him as he continued to gasp for breath. The minutes ticked by, and Severus still did not let go. Stubborn to the last, Albus thought fondly. Albus then knew what he had to do, knew what he had to say. He remembered that expression: if you love someone, you can let them go. Albus loved Severus with all his heart, and didn't want him to suffer any longer.

"You can let go now, child," he said softly. "You don't have to hold on anymore. It's okay."

It was as if Albus's words reassured him, for Severus's breathing began to slow. Albus continued to whisper soothing words to him as he watched Severus Snape, the child he'd grown to love as his own, take his last breaths. Moments later, he was gone.

The next few hours were a blur to Albus. He openly wept, and was comforted by Minerva and Remus in loving embraces. Poppy Pomfrey also felt terrible; Severus Snape was the first patient she hadn't been able to save. She also soothed and embraced Albus, and told him that Severus was safe now, in no more pain, in a better place.

The old man didn't sleep at all that night. He spent it in the company of his closest friends, and they all shared memories of Severus and comforted one another.

The funeral for Severus took place a few days later. Albus almost couldn't bear to watch as his son's body was lowered into the ground. Poppy, Remus, and Minerva stayed with him throughout, and Albus thanked them profusely for all their comfort. He also told Poppy not to feel guilty, for she'd done everything to try to help Severus recover.

Through the following months, Albus's broken heart slowly began to heal. With the help of his dear friends, he began to get over the guilt of sending Severus to Voldemort. After all, it had been Severus's brave decision to do this job for the Order. Albus felt that by Severus's actions, he had truly done all he could to atone for the mistakes he had made in his youth.

Albus knew he would never forget his child. He always had the memories, and those kept him going. The thing he remembered most was the look on Severus's face just before his eyes had closed completely, as he was being carried back into the castle. The old man truly felt like his compassion and loving care of Severus had paid off. And he knew, with a clarity he could not deny, that Severus was happy now, safe and loved in Heaven. He knew, on the day he'd go on to the next great adventure, that he'd see Severus again, and the Potions Master would make some comment about "foolish Gryffindors." That also kept a soft smile on his face.

He would truly never forget him.

Finis


End file.
